I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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