He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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