I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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