your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
