Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Randomize
