OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
