5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
