Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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