If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
