rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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