I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
