break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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