After last night, I could never be a politician.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
time to smoke my breakfast
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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