its not stalking. its research.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My pussy is not your playground.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
