I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
