i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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