Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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