eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
