it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
