watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
