your room smells of hookers.
And success
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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