Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
