dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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