I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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