He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
