im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
