its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
