Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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