the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
