If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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