i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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