Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
