What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
