Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
