Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Farmville is her only friend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
