She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
