i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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