You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
