Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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