Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
