We named our party play list daddy issues
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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