a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
