Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
