I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im part way to drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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