I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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