how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
