What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
