I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
