Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
