Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
